Method

  • Preliminary meeting
  • The Process
  • And then?

Preliminary meeting

I ask a great many questions during the preliminary meeting in order to get to know you better and to evaluate where you stand in your relationship. Topics covered include: referral, any previous help, family background, childhood, career, other relationships, and physical and mental health. Naturally we spend more time on the problems within your relationship. We discuss what you wish to achieve, what you expect and can expect from me. The preliminary meeting is with both partners and takes about an hour and a half. The fee for the preliminary meeting is deducted from the cost of the whole therapy if we decide to continue with the process.

The following subjects are briefly discussed at the end of the preliminary meeting:

  • The first impression (do we continue or not?)
  • Rough estimate of sessions and time required (on average 3 months)
  • Practical realization sessions (in consultation)
  • Rates (customised)
  • Reflection period

The Process

At the moment you may be feeling confused or demotivated; maybe you are feeling desperately lonely, which often goes hand-in-hand with a deteriorating relationship. Maybe you are afraid, overwhelmed by seemingly insurmountable problems or seriously hurting deep inside.

My approach has been designed in such a way that no matter where you stand in your relationship, I will align with you. In order to get your relationship heading in the right direction, you will first have to acknowledge the naked truth. Once you understand how you came to be at this point in your relationship, we start working on the future. At the beginning of the process I give you the information you need to understand what went wrong in your relationship. In this very early stage you begin to see your relationship from a different perspective and some repair could already take place. I will also give you various diary assignments that you will carry out in your own time, at your own tempo. The number of assignments, which are crucial to the repair process, depends on the nature and scale of the problem. A chronic problem isn’t solved overnight, but step-by-step with various approaches. It is not a one-off procedure that a relationship needs, but a continuous infusion.

It is essential to have a plan that will continue to improve and challenge your behaviour at times when you are feeling tired or demoralised. A serious, well-thought out plan with realistic goals and a clear schedule keeps you going when emotions are blurred and will-power is fading. We go through the whole process together, without judgement or criticism, but with desire and courage to confront the truth.

Act now, take back control and ensure you get the life and the relationship you want!

And then?

After the last session we plan a follow-up day in which we evaluate together how things are going with you and with the relationship. If unexpected points for concern emerge for which Filove’s service is desired, one or more sessions could follow.